Monday, April 23, 2012

We had such grand plans for the day...

Jose in Timeout

Today, we were going on our first outing beyond the park and pool --- the Multiplaza Mall.  Aside from having an indoor playground and a movie theater, we needed to get Evelyn shoes for our meeting with the family court judge on Wednesday.  Otherwise, she's showing up in her flip flops. 

The kiddos were primed at breakfast and excited to embark.  Alas, as we readied to leave, the siblings had a scrap. Given that the Multiplaza houses more than 365 shops and stretches several miles long, we were so not going to take the chance of managing fighting, cranky, pouty children in the midst of a gazillion people.  (Especially since we have to carry around a piece of paper with us everywhere we go -- just in case we get stopped by the police -- which basically states that they are on loan to us until we are approved to keep them.)  So we told the children that perhaps if they are in a happier mood tomorrow, we could try again. Evelyn flounced back to her room.  Jose had a meltdown.   We had a very, very, very, very long day.

2 comments:

  1. Oh the joys of a child's mood swing. You're not living till you have experienced both sides of that. Side one, being the child having the mood swing/melt down, and the side being the parent dealing with it. Welcome to parenthood. Love ya guys.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's hard- especially because your kids don't really yet know how to tolerate frustration or delay gratification - these are skills that are not necessarily easy for any kids, but at least most kids get a solid foundation to practice it. You guys are getting a 3.5 year old and an 8 year old who for the most part, have not had anyone available to teach them how to delay gratification, tolerate frustration in an acceptable way, how to communicate more effectively their upsets, etc.... Again, it's typical for all kids and for yours, they are just working from an initial disadvantage and are now (WITH YOU BOTH AS WELL) on a STEEP learning curve!

    It does get better and it is a process. You may not notice large gains in this area (like you might in others such as Jose picking up words faster and faster or the emotional bonds that are forming between you all)compared to other areas. It may be a slower change that occurs subtly over time in comparison to other changes in your family.

    I would say for us that certain behaviors that were very simple (vs. complex) often changed fast and anything complex changed slowly and to be honest, we also learned over time what worked best and found with the complex behaviors we were trying to change, that we had to have multiple tools in our arsenal and to be flexible. It was tough. I love both the Emotional Intelligence in Children and Winning the Whining War and Other Skirmishes books. They were my behavior bibles the first 6mos.-1 year with our girls. They helped us so much, I am forever grateful for others' wisdom and tips.

    ReplyDelete